Focusing On The Bullseye
Here’s the low down. Judy, Jana, Mindy and I were in Dr Grado’s office today, for the reveal of my CT (Soft Tissue) and Bone Scans.
I had been working on my focus this past week knowing my PSA climbed to 30.9. Dark thoughts, uncertainty, fear and yes, cancer were my enemies/evildoers. There were plenty of times I quoted favorite passages of scripture, especially Ps. 141:8-10.
I had a hard time getting my head around how I could actually feel physically good and have the cancer boys acting up in my body. You were praying for Judy and me. Hundreds of you! We had visits from friends and encouragement galore. It was as if God was saying, “I got this Jerry.”
I knew theologically and intellectually I had to go to the place where my soul and emotional well-being had to accept. I finally got there just before we took off for Grado’s office this morning. Takes me a while sometimes.
I saw myself as one of the three in the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I was out of control and about to be thrown in the middle of a huge fire by enemies of my heavenly Father.
Then the trio replied to King Nebuchadnezzar, “…we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:16-18
This was it! I told the Lord that he knows what I desire and hears from the prayers of rescuing me from many, as I go into my personal fiery furnace. Even though I enjoyed new levels of intimacy with Jesus, I came to the following conclusion:
“Lord, you are able to save me from these cancer boys, these evildoers, enemies of my body and soul but if you choose not to, I won’t serve the darkness, I won’t serve their little gods set up to destroy our relationship that we have between us. You were, are and always will be GOD!”
Today, as we walked into Grado’s place, God provided his peace that passes understanding. The report was very up lifting.
The PSA count rose up due to the cancer on my bones and not the prostate. In fact, after an examination previous to the consult, the prostate was found to be in a healthy state after the first round of treatment was completed three months ago. But when the mother lode was attacked, the little cancer ships on my back got hostile looking for a food source and began to escalate their growth.
So a decision has been made. We are focusing on the bullseye!
We will address this with hormonal therapy – something I didn’t want to do in the beginning – but it will do a couple of things. 1. Slow the cancer growth down 2. prepare me for the knockout punches needed to complete the healing with a new radio-isotope treatment that follows this total systemic approach.
Once the hormonal therapy is done, I will qualify for the isotope treatment and Medicare will pick the tab up. But if I didn’t do this hormonal therapy, the pharmaceutical designers of the protocol wouldn’t allow it.
In the meantime, I continue to do the IV-C intravenous treatment with Dr Rubin to maintain the strength of my immune system to fight the cancer, and reduce any discomfort I might feel from the hormonal treatment. This complete process will take up to eight months.
I know you are praying, which is major for us. Judy and I are not alone and depend on your prayers. For this stage of my treatment, we need extra help to continue the IV-C treatment and if any of you are in a place financially to consider helping, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or you can click the bullseye below and link to our PayPal account which is set up for this purpose.
Again, this has been a good day of setting the strategy for healing and I’m grateful you are walking with Judy and me through this fight. God continues to surprise me! I’m finding out He likes doing that.