Here’s the low down. Judy, Jana, Mindy and I were in Dr Grado’s office today, for the reveal of my CT (Soft Tissue) and Bone Scans.
I had been working on my focus this past week knowing my PSA climbed to 30.9. Dark thoughts, uncertainty, fear and yes, cancer were my enemies/evildoers. There were plenty of times I quoted favorite passages of scripture, especially Ps. 141:8-10.
I had a hard time getting my head around how I could actually feel physically good and have the cancer boys acting up in my body. You were praying for Judy and me. Hundreds of you! We had visits from friends and encouragement galore. It was as if God was saying, “I got this Jerry.”
I knew theologically and intellectually I had to go to the place where my soul and emotional well-being had to accept. I finally got there just before we took off for Grado’s office this morning. Takes me a while sometimes.
I saw myself as one of the three in the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I was out of control and about to be thrown in the middle of a huge fire by enemies of my heavenly Father.
Then the trio replied to King Nebuchadnezzar, “…we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:16-18
This was it! I told the Lord that he knows what I desire and hears from the prayers of rescuing me from many, as I go into my personal fiery furnace. Even though I enjoyed new levels of intimacy with Jesus, I came to the following conclusion:
“Lord, you are able to save me from these cancer boys, these evildoers, enemies of my body and soul but if you choose not to, I won’t serve the darkness, I won’t serve their little gods set up to destroy our relationship that we have between us. You were, are and always will be GOD!”
Today, as we walked into Grado’s place, God provided his peace that passes understanding. The report was very up lifting.
The PSA count rose up due to the cancer on my bones and not the prostate. In fact, after an examination previous to the consult, the prostate was found to be in a healthy state after the first round of treatment was completed three months ago. But when the mother lode was attacked, the little cancer ships on my back got hostile looking for a food source and began to escalate their growth.
So a decision has been made. We are focusing on the bullseye!
We will address this with hormonal therapy – something I didn’t want to do in the beginning – but it will do a couple of things. 1. Slow the cancer growth down 2. prepare me for the knockout punches needed to complete the healing with a new radio-isotope treatment that follows this total systemic approach.
Once the hormonal therapy is done, I will qualify for the isotope treatment and Medicare will pick the tab up. But if I didn’t do this hormonal therapy, the pharmaceutical designers of the protocol wouldn’t allow it.
In the meantime, I continue to do the IV-C intravenous treatment with Dr Rubin to maintain the strength of my immune system to fight the cancer, and reduce any discomfort I might feel from the hormonal treatment. This complete process will take up to eight months.
I know you are praying, which is major for us. Judy and I are not alone and depend on your prayers. For this stage of my treatment, we need extra help to continue the IV-C treatment and if any of you are in a place financially to consider helping, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or you can click the bullseye below and link to our PayPal account which is set up for this purpose.
Again, this has been a good day of setting the strategy for healing and I’m grateful you are walking with Judy and me through this fight. God continues to surprise me! I’m finding out He likes doing that.
I won’t beat around the bush. My lab results came back. When I started this journey six months ago, my PSA count was 26.8. Then after forty-four radiation sessions the count dropped to 15.8 and we were very optimistic in the healing process.
I was released for a three-month break. In that time, I golfed, ate well, spent time with bunches of friends and family, enjoyed walks with Judy, exercised by walking fifteen miles a week – sometimes at a 13.5 minute per mile clip, watched TV, and spent quite a bit of time with Jesus and the Word.
On March 1, I went in for another PSA count results. My expectation was to see that drop into single digits. It came back at a rise to 28.6. On March 6, yesterday, I went in for another test to see if that result was skewed. Boom! The PSA count came back at 30.9.
What had been “…the cancer was dying faster than it was growing…” is now “…the cancer is growing faster than its dying.”
Needless to say, this is a punch in the mouth but now its GO Time again, to the next level in this fight. I will be getting a new bone and CT scan to see where the cancer is growing on the spine/ribcage. Then it’s attack mode as Drs Grado and Rubin team up to help me in this fight.
Here are verses that’s meant plenty to me as of late and tells you my attitude.
“But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge–do not give me over to death. Keep me from the snares they (my cancer boys) have laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers (the sob’s of cancer). Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by in safety.” Psalms 141:8-10
As you can see, I took great liberty in King David’s statement about escaping the enemies of his day and applied it to the enemy invading my body. But his prayer is my prayer.
Meantime, I’m working at something dear to me. I’ve been asked to prepare a digital class on Transforming Twisted Thinking. It’s a good idea and I’ve been doing this faithfully. There was a DVD back in 2004 of me teaching a class of fifty adult lay counselors in a church in Wisconsin. Thirteen years ago!
In my vanity, I decided I looked pretty good as a fifty-seven year old and the class would be presentable. I’m smiling now. And so is my friend Diana Kosmoski who’s humor is so refreshing to me.
Well my friends, continue to pray for Judy and me in this next round would you? We are living life. I still don’t hear from God that it’s a NO. But I have to tell you, I do think about seeing Jesus more soberly mixed with joy and at times with tears. Just saying.
Again, let me thank you for praying and being there on our team. I will keep you posted.