Archive | June 2012

Twisted Games


I think everyone struggles to be relevant. It may or may not be a conscious thought but people will hold onto the dreams of their youth to define how relevant their futures will be. The problem comes when there’s a direct proportion to their fear of not measuring up to the standard they or others have imposed on them. The more one fears failure, the more one lives in a dream world and everyone – including the hapless dreamer – suffers. And love disappears.

I want to think about the twisted games we develop if the above were to happen. Minding the gap between living in the real world versus a dream world is critical in my view. Why? Because when love disappears, we must twist what it means to love into what it means to control people so the dream or fantasy remains alive and well. The results! In the real world, we’re disconnected from ourselves and others. And harm is lurking in some shape or form, because we’re in the gap where relational train wrecks happen.

For me, recognizing my twisted games has helped in avoiding those relational train wrecks, especially in my marriage and with my children. For a limited number of blogs, I’d like to mind this gap and reveal what those games look like and share the remedies. Hint! It surrounds the notion of failing to love.

I will reveal a top ten list, but if you like, feel free to dialogue with me about your lists too.

I don’t think it’s wrong to struggle to be relevant. But, giving in to the fear of failure to maintain any fantasy puts us in the gap where relevance at any cost is destructive. Do you agree or not? Why?

Mind The Gap

Well here I am – finally in the blog world, getting organized and ready to say what I think about minding the gap. Mind thgap is a warning to train passengers to take caution while crossing the gap between the train door and the station platform. It was introduced in 1969 on the London Underground.

While visiting London, I saw the sign you see on the header of this page. The notice seemed a bit strange since these gaps were only a few inches wide, but the caution is relevant. Obviously, the gap widens when the train is gone and unless one Minds the gap, it might be a certain death from oncoming trains if anyone didn’t do so.

I’m concerned for our total being and what it takes to reflect relational and spiritual wellness. For me this alert extends to minding the proverbial gap between what and how we think, how we relate to God and our families, as well as others. It will challenge what’s behind choices and issues that could trip us up along the way.

So, welcome to Mind the gap – a journey toward reasonable and responsible thought. My hope is to encourage everyone to avoid the harm that can come from irresponsible living and thinking. We’ll have fun and yet this caution opens the door for exploring the danger of gaps in life, that if not paid attention to, keep us from loving and living well.

What do you think might be a proverbial gap to avoid so people can grow and be relationally responsible? I’m eager to hear from you too, as we map out what’s going on in today’s world, your world and mine. Let’s Mind the gap together.

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